Monday, 10 February 2014

Music Of My Heart

I've spent hours contemplating the words to say to you but no combination of twenty six different letters could ever accurately capture even a sliver of what this feeling is.


Hence my love experiences can’t be expressed in words, it cannot be spoken in words, but I’ve found that love can be expressed through the medium on sound called music. My heart sings for you with sounds and sweet feelings inside. I promise you, from the bottom of my heart that I’ll always be your side and try to serve you at my best no matter whatever the situation and condition is


I can’t express myself anymore once again…I miss you yaar….a lot.

 Anyways Take care of yourself OK


 HAPPY PROMISE DAY & VALENTINE DAY( In advance) :)

Saturday, 8 February 2014

Democracy & Protests



Democracy and protests have become synonymous concepts in our nation. In fact, to be negatively critical of the system at hand seems like the only way to showcase one's credible socialist leanings. And to criticize what's wrong with the government seems like the most fashionable way of registering one's intellectual capacity.

Many 'protests' in various forms - symbolic and out-on-the-streets raised voices. This note follows as a continuum of the past note that investigated a subjective and lived experience. The overwhelming texts, messages, calls and requests have phenomenally inspired immense introspection within me and the issue at hand. It was a conscious attempt on my part to distance my voice from the onslaught of this language of alleged 'protest' and 'democratic dialogue'. I shall try to investigate what are the problematics within the scenario and why it is so.

Let us agree as Nilanjana Roy says in her recent article on Kafila that the protest voices at India gate, Jantar Mantar, Raisina Hills, Rashtrapati Bhavan, and Janpath are more or less directionless and vague. But my disagreement lies in the constant justification of the echoes in the article and elsewhere as central and definitive of the idea of democracy and free speech. How free should free speech be needs a check? And yes, it requires a monitoring mechanism - either developed by state for conservationists (limitations to Freedom of Expression in the Article 19 of the constitution) or non-state values for communists or ethical, rational and logical loops for the anti-ism lobby. We must remember that we reside in no Plato’s Republic guided by purely poetic principles but we live in a real politic scenario where putting a name to our nationality is central to our agreement of being a part of this system. By default, we must abide by certain codes till the time they change and are brought as transformed alter egos. We should and must participate in the process of bringing about a change but that ought to be done respecting the constitutional limitations to freedom. After all this is what being civilized means – to be able to respect and appreciate constructively the culture of the civilization at hand.

What binds the cacophony of the protests is pure emotional outburst against a systemic malaise that the psychology of rape, especially gang rape, has become. Kudos to the awareness quotient but one needs a serious look at where the energy of the huge mass intends to fritter away. 

The demand for justice for the victim of this heinous crime is being met rather too fast for the speed barometer record of our judiciary and police department. Not only has the investigation been quite impressive but the nabbing of the criminals also well coordinated and fast. It is a mockery of our ill framed demand right on the face of the placards we seem to hold. We must realize that we are not Saudi Arabia and that the process of justice delivery shall happen within certain protocols - the very same that we expect from the institutions we attack. Also, the state is, at large, outraged at the act and committed to channelize its service delivery mechanism into constructive conclusions soon enough. Let us not get overwhelmed by the euphoric chest thumping, lung cracking cat calls of the ‘silent’ and ‘non-violent’ protests. They are sensitive to the issue but not necessarily ethical, humanitarian, logical and rational in their ‘demands’.

The ideas behind gang rape are much beyond the limited confines of violence. Unlike isolated cases of rape where subjective grudge and inflamed passion against the victim are often the raison d’ĂȘtre, gang rapes are ideological and well planned within the fabric of entrenched patriarchy. Off late, the demographics of gang rapists has emerged as largely those who are visibly disturbed and at times stupefied by the presence of assertive and confident women in the work spaces and public sphere erstwhile occupied by their male hormones. This systemic problem/ trend, then, is much beyond the speedy address of any government. It needs, instead, a concerted and consistent social and sociological commitment with apt political and legislative efforts to release the toxin gradually.

 Logically and rationally, the agitation stands nowhere to address any situation. Rather, it aggravates the already festering instance of lawlessness out on the streets. To stone pelt the police, to abuse the men in uniform and chest thumping sloganeering is nothing but a lewd attempt to grab limelight when the brokers and pimps of two minutes of fame are ready with their cameras and microphones all over the elitist places of protest.

The demographics and the modus operandi of the protesters are equally disturbing. Instead of bunking classes to protest for something which is essentially their doing, they would do much better by monitoring their own conduct around women – covertly and overtly. I doubt the sincerity of the ‘movement’ because why is it that the defenders of justice and women safety choose to march with a candle at 3pm from Laxmi Nagar when it is out in the open that post 9 and 10 pm the place literally transforms into a den for open sex racket. Why can not the ‘sincere’ protesters, the men in the clan, undertake night vigils and patrols around places like Dwarka and Mahipalpur than climbing on the poles near Rashtrapati Bhavan to get a love bite from media camera flashes? Why resort to token gestures at select places of power? Why are the margins of dingy lanes of Delhi abandoned? Why cannot Chandni Chowk and Mahipalpur roads be waxed by the peaceful candles? Is it a protest drive or a fashion parade on a seemingly romantic date inspired by Rang de Basanti?

The symbols and language of protests and marches has increasingly become a fad these days. Post Arab Spring, Jasmine Revolution, agitations at the Tahrir Square, protests at Wall Street the fashion of loud sloganeering has caught up as frenzied mania. But we need to see if we want a directionless mob to annihilate and leave the shambles for later rot or look for patient yet perseverant cures for malignant tumors as deeply entrenched as rape.




My MMS


People today are becoming so selfish that it has become difficult to call anybody my friend. Everybody tries to exploit others. The people whom you regard as your best friends often prove otherwise.

True friends have become as rare as the dodo. A search for them is bound to fail. However, if there is somebody whom we can call our friend, we are lucky. To have a good friend is worth a million rupees, even more I’ve been immersed in the study of friendship for the past several years, and among the many things I’ve learned, one idea stands out: If you truly want to change some aspect of your life, developing friendships with people who aspire to the same goals as you do — like I did with my friend.


It’s hard to find friend like him. Without him I would not be as happy as I am now. Through good and bad times, I’m positive that forever we will still remain friends.

Now I would like to describe one of my best friend whose name is MANPREET SINGH (MANNU) or in other words I can say my MMS (Mittar Manpreet Singh) .The first reason I consider him as my best friend is that he has a very warm personality. He is so friendly when he meets me everywhere. He always smiles politely on me that make me absolutely delighted when I meet him. Furthermore, Honesty is his good manner. He never lies to me even one time, because he likes to say something true. Moreover, Mannu is a funny person. In addition, he is a compassionate friend, who always helps other buddies when they have problem. He always cares especially about me. Being a selfish guy I can say he is very useful for me….lolz J

“Like a true friend he loves, gives help, sacrifices his interests without anything in return.”

Friday, 7 February 2014

Love U Sunny

Why you hate her...Why
Few days ago I like a page of SUNNY LEONE in facebook and one of my highly educated feminine friend message me that

      "Sushant how could u like sunny Leone
        Highly disappointed"

That’s what she send me .but I don't understand why people are so conservative if someone like sunny Leone that doesn't Mean he/she is character less person...Even not sunny Leone also She was a porn star not a prostitute.

If people hate her because she was a porn star, then people also ought to hate all of those who watch these movies (I Know 90% of them do). And for your kind knowledge porn star does all that for money, after the video shoot, that person would not like to do all that in real life which makes them different from prostitutes. Prostitutes have to do all that whether they like or not, it’s a must, which in porn star case has a choice, they can or they won't.


I love sunny a lot...she is awesome, even according to me she is the perfect example of natural beauty...and off course those who know me they know very well that Sushant Dey is not gonna change his views because of his friends or its society.

People say that she has no regrets for what she did, as she knows that her work as a porn star goes against Indian culture. But my dear friends "tumhe kyu itni chul machi hui h" If country's younger generation is willing to accept all kind of people and that's why she has been able to make inroads into the Hindi film industry.

In an interview Sunny said that:

"I did not think that people will like me because of my background, like what I do for my living in the US.I was not sure if it would be accepted here."

So its circumstances which force her to do all these things in US.

                                 "Ab ullu ne kabhi savera nai dekha to iska matlab
                                                Yeh nai ki savera nai hota"

What set the ball rolling for the 31 year old indo-Canadian adult star here was her participation in reality show big boss 5.she received the offer for jism2 via acclaimed filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt and the spotlight has been on her ever since.

Sunny, who has named among top 12 porn stars of the world by MAXIM magazine in 2010, says the prejudices for people in her profession seem to be diminishing in the minds of the youth.

I think the young generation of people is ready to see someone like her on TV otherwise she would not be here.
"I THINK ONE SHOULD LIVE LIFE THE WAY THEY WANT REGARDLESS OF WHAT PEOPLE THINKS ABOUT YOU"

I think sunny will also agree with it...As it shows in her attitude.

So please stop criticizing her and do your own business if you don't like her. Even she is also not dying for you...

LOVE YOU SUNNY  :)


Monday, 3 February 2014

Smiles


"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world." Robert Louis Stevenson

This is the quote I've chosen to focus on in the year 2014.  The DUTY of being happy.  This is certainly a different way of thinking about happiness.  Being happy as a duty.  As a result of being happy we benefit the world.  This is a huge concept.  It certainly takes the focus off of me, doesn't it.  I always thought that being happier would benefit ME.  I would have a better life.  I would be a more positive person.  I would move through this life with a more pleasant countenance.  I never thought of it as a duty.  I never thought of my happiness being a benefit to the world.

When I first read this quote it gave me pause.  The idea of being happy to benefit others went against my idea of what happiness was.  The first thing I thought was there couldn't be any truth to this statement.  How could my happiness benefit anyone else?  I first thought of the converse of this statement.  Can my unhappiness harm the world?  The only thing that came to mind to disprove this theory was the old adage. "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized the person being resented isn't the person you come into contact on a day to day basis.  In fact, you are most likely to avoid the person you have resentments against.  And they are likely to avoid you, as well.  The people exposed to my unpleasant attitude of unhappiness haven't done anything at all to deserve being in contact with it.

I thought about people I meet who seem happy.  People who smile more than they don't smile.  These people have the ability to draw a smile out of me.  It may only last a moment, but the smile comes to my face.  I've been practicing smiling this year.  I have a little smiley face stuck to my computer monitor.  I take a few minutes out of each day, look at the smiley face and smile.  I typically start feeling a happier feeling.  Even though I'm just smiling and I've NOTHING to smile about, I feel happy.  In fact, I often remember a joke or have a recollection of a pleasant experience while I'm smiling.  I've come to the conclusion that I can trick myself into thinking I'm happy, just by smiling. 

One more thing happens while practicing this endeavor.  I enjoy practicing this smiling exercise when someone comes into my home.  I try to notice if my smiling face causes the visitor to smile, as well.  It's especially fun to see someone who was previously not smiling develop a smile on their face.  Maybe this is considered the benefit?  Maybe by encouraging another human being to smile I am benefiting that person.

This is as far as I've gotten in the experience of my happiness benefiting the world.  I'll start smiling at a lot of people I don't feel I have very much in common with.  I'll continue the practice of putting a smile on my face.  Even though this exercise doesn't come naturally to me, I believe it is worth the effort.

Sunday, 2 February 2014

The EC girl :)


I met up with an OLD friend few days ago.  Hahahahaha, old friend, 'cause she's in my college from last 3 years but we never met..anyways that’s different thing…but we are old friends…lolz  ;)
It was a great day when she called me to inquire about WIP program because I m the unfortunate coordinator of that program.

And till now she’s taunting me that “coordinator ho tumhare jaisa”.

Anyways!! Can I say it again, it was a great day.  What did we do?  We talked.  And talked.  And talked. J

She told me such nice things about myself.  She reminded me of the guy I was with all the hopes and dreams and promise for the future. She was the sweetest friend.  EVERYONE liked her except few guys because of their own interpretations nothing more …and no one can do anything with that. She called me motu (in her language motu means buddy) and we always share our day with each other.  She always wanted to have fun and go anywhere.  She was brave enough to challenge me in TAKILA SHOTS…

 It's amazing how we see ourselves as time passes.  It was so good to hear a positive word about me.  (I'm not saying my friend doesn't compliment me, but for them, I know its foreplay.  :))

She is is so beautiful - in more ways than she will ever know.

I feel connected to her in ways I have never felt with anyone else. I trust her, feel comfortable with her, tell her hidden thoughts that I could never tell anyone else and vice-versa also. I love every moment we spend together and miss her whenever she is not texting me.

She loves hanging with me 24/7 on cell and we do a lot together & I wish she deserves everything good that this life has to offer. Every possible happiness. Every beautiful moment along with his boyfriend KSHITIJ.

At last I summarized myself by saying few words dedicated to EC girl :

"If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy,
I'll be your smile... But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me."

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Why do i think Narendra Modi should be India's next PM?

Yes! I decide to vote for Narendra Modi in the 2014 General Elections. And in this post i will be very candid to the why of the question and discuss all the 'touchy' issues which perhaps most intellegent and intellectual Modi supporters do not want to get into for xyz reasons. 

My middle class sensibilities respect Modi's rise. Blame it on the typical middle class upbringing and having seen struggle (well not to the level of facing poverty and scarping through meals etc) in whatever little way i have, somewhere down the line when i see this man kick the current dynastic power in the gut, i feel satiated. May be i am an ambitious sadist nurturing sentiments of equality in opportunities. But i feel extremely gleeful when i see this man, who said in Mehsana some odd years ago in Gujarati that my father was a tea vendor and not had the luxury to make him toxic with high ended dreams, prove to the nation today that he can stand tall and with a cocky confidence daring all those who considered power their legitimate right because they were born with it. For me, his rise defines the practical Weberian conversion of power into authority. 



I respect Modi for the humility he brought into Indian politics by never making the initial move of touting and playing on his 'humble' beginnings until prodded into. Take the recent controversy flared up by Aiyar - a confidante of a 'socialist' party in India(remember that silk wearing Indira chic added the word socialism into the constitutional lexicon!). He mocked Modi's professional past. Interestingly, none of the high sounding JNU educated leftists and Marxists had anything to comment about the snide remark. Then this man, Modi roared. He ripped apart the sarcasm by his wit and extremely caustic speech. And why should he not? There is freedom of experssion in India. There is something called a constitutional rulebook which criminalises discrimination against class. And none, none of the leading advocates of the great Indian tradition of democracy(hail PUDR etc etc!) came forward to defend Modi and more importantly indict Mani. How convenient!
What is that which 'intellectuals' detest about Modi? That he is not secular? That he did not 'act' during Godhra incident(accident) of mass violence? I ask, what is it that defines secularism in India? Very conveniently did the elite lawyers of yesteryears drew on a layered word 'secularism' from the western discourse and served it on the sensibilities of Indian platter. And since then the definition has been mocked and played out among the now TRP hungry electronic screens while riots after riots awash innocent lives almost every year in one part of the country or the other.

Wearing a skull cap on Eid and making sure no trace of being a hindu seeps out in the public domain is secular and sexy. Celebrating Christmas in Europe and posting pics on FB is oh-so-cool but shying away from donning a tilak in public because the latter is somehow being a sanghi  is how secularism is defined as today. Modi affirms and never denies unlike a poet - an anti-thesis to Sidney. He did much better than what Congress did during Assam riots. He did much better than what SP did in the Muzzafarnagar riots. Modi did much better than what the center did for months after the 1984 sikh riots. And no, not everyone can cry in public and wail and make defence of their innocence everytime an incident of that order is mentioned. Some people are stoic. Some people wait to hear due process of law talk for them rather than make media tamasha out of a sensitive issue. And let us face it. He did speak. He spoke twice. Once, when the alleged 'carnage' happened(carnage, theorists!? Did you consult your big fat theories and did your research well?) and once when the SIT gave its judgement. The truth may not be out yet. But what 'truth' ever has? May be the government could have done better. But that is all what he himself says. He accepts it. But who will listen to it? He stands demonised alone as does not the current government at the center or other state governments where actual carnages and mass murders happen due to terrorism and insurgency and war against poverty and illegal employment etc etc. almost every single minute. Of course, there is room for betterment. But the responsibility alone does not lie on Modi. And if the nation feels it does, as the critics blame him for almost everything wrong there is, i will give him that role to prove himself. I will vote for him. 

I will vote Modi for his honesty. I will vote him for wearing his values on his sleeves. If i want my right of expression that i hate '-isms' and categories to define me, i would want to equally respect a man who proudly proclaims that he is a 'Hindu nationalist'. And no, that does not mean he can not be secular. It is just like this. Dr. Manmohan Singh wearing a turban (hai allalh! He not only says but acts like a sikh!!) does not cast any doubt on his being secular or non-secular. My professor wearing dhuti  to college does not make him Bengali and regionalist. NO!!

Modi harps about his success. He speaks about what he has made at great lengths. And why not? If 'feminists' debate on women's right over their bodies and that women have the right to flaunt what they have - when, how and in what measure - why is it that the same left liberals who back this 'freedom' abandon Modi when he flaunts what he has? Those who think it is titillating can take it or leave it, right? There may be hype. But there always is hype when one is consumed and consumes a culture which is made of McDonalds munching, visiting Thailand for holidays and oh-i-am-so-beautiful screeching pics splattered all across the FB junkies. Even fiction, darlings, is a product of reality! Face the new world of politics where markets, targets and audience are as important, if not more, than philosophies, values and mission statements. 

Modi has come a long way. From a man who did not know hindi to this man who gave interviews to Reuters and Times Now in english is a story that i, as a woman from cowbelt, will always salute. From that man who committed the supposed 'sin' of keeping quiet on Godhra to this man who openly explained his pain after the SIT's pronuncement, he has come a long way - internally too. I respect this growth. From a man who talked of women as only durga to this man who called them a 'home maker'(and not a housewife!) who should be nation builders - i see a huge leap. 

Yes, he is not a fire brand feminist. Yes he is not my ideal notion of secular. But when did one ever get or achieve perfection and ideal? I see hope. I see someone who has risen from zero to this to do something good for the country. He will develop India. Because that is exactly what he has done to himself. Afterall, 'Personal is political.'